It’s October and fall is in the air. While some people look forward to this season—the clothes, the Charlie Brown specials, and pumpkin spice everything—others really struggle.
Many people will naturally start to make fewer plans and hunker inside at home as the months get colder and darker, and that can make some people feel lonely. And if you live in New England, these months can linger until April!
Because this change in seasons has the potential to wreak havoc on our moods, I wanted to share one of my favorite coping skills that can help during this time of year.
Coping ahead can be a tremendously helpful skill, and it’s one that often gets overlooked. Coping ahead is like getting your armor on before going into battle: If you know that the darker months are more challenging on your mood (which is the battle), why would you go forward without any prep work (armor)?
That’s where coping ahead comes in! If you know you are going into something challenging, think about what skills you might need to have or develop to cope through it. Having a game plan sets us up for success better than winging it.
So let’s talk through a good first step in that game plan, which I hope will help you start coping ahead for the fall and beyond: planning out some structure.
Those who know me know that I’m big on this! Having at least an outline of structure can give you options for how to get through a challenging time. What might you consider structure? Here are some ideas!
Make a list of friends you might want to see, and then make some plans. Coffee dates during the work day; snacks before heading home after work; or weekend gatherings at a friend’s house, a café, or your place (if you don’t mind hosting). Think about how much social time you’d like to have this fall, and start making those tentative plans now.
Another way to create structure ahead of time is to start making a list of fun movies or books to enjoy. You can also choose some cafés or libraries you’d like to go to, places where you can be around others while you have a treat, do some journaling, or listen to a podcast.
Being around others even when we are alone can help improve our mood. And mapping out a tentative schedule can provide a sense of comfort and provide a more positive perspective before and during these fall and winter months.
PS If you are interested in learning more about the skills and strategies in this newsletter, among others, please check out my online course
How to Cope Ahead